LIFE GETS NUTS! I realized that things got busy and it had been some time since I read a good book that I felt like I could apply to my everyday life.
I heard nothing but good reviews about The Five Love Languages so I decided to give it a go.
For those of you who haven’t read the book, here is a little bit of a breakdown…
Every person speaks their own love language. Dr. Gary Chapman believes that there are five different ways people speak and understand emotional love. He believes that once you identify and speak another person’s love language then you will have found the key to a long-lasting, loving relationship. Now, this book primarily speaks to couples, especially those experiencing an emotional lull in their marriage. Although, if you look past the intended audience and focus on the concept themselves you will see that they can be applied to many other types of relationships in your life such as friends, family members, co-workers, or in this particular setting, your personal trainer and your training partner.
The 5 Love Languages are..
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch
For example, kind words mean the world to you. When you get a compliment, it will boost your mood all day long. So you decide to return the favor by praising your spouse any chance you get. He or she will feel so loved. You think!
Your spouse, however, experiences love in a whole different manner. He or she feels truly cared for when you lend a helping hand. You feed the dog, take out the garbage, or do the dishes. While you are giving verbal encouragement at every possible moment, your spouse is silently stewing about the lawn that needs to be mowed or the laundry that needs to get folded.
While your compliments are very kind and thoughtful, your spouse doesn’t send and receive love in the same primary way as you, therefore, your kind words actually mean very little.
These languages can be applied to your relationship with your coach or trainer. A coach and client relationship will vary from person to person. For instance, if you are the type of individual that wants constant encouragement and positive affirmation during your workout to feel like you are moving just one step closer to your goal, but your coach has a quiet, reserved personality then maybe that isn’t the fit for you. A good coach takes time to understand each person to not only help them reach their goals, but figures out how to make them fall in love with the daily process.
Humans are creatures of habit. We workout at the same time, with the same people, each week. The best part about that is over time the other gym goers become your gym family. The love languages can be applied when working out with your training partner. You are constantly giving your partner encouragement during the workout. Keep pushing. We’re almost there. You can do it! The workout is done and you go off to sit in front of the fan and cool off while your training partner picks up all of the equipment. If your training partner speaks the language of words of affirmation then you two are gelling great. But if your training partner speaks acts of service, then they are probably cursing you under their breath picking up your equipment while you are off doing your own thing. Even though you look forward to your workout every day with your training partner, they are secretly dreading it because they know they will be frustrated having to clean up after you.
Speaking the language of your spouse, mom, neighbor, or training partner can have a drastic effect on the quality your relationship. If you don’t decide to read The Five Love Languages after this article, at least take the time to get to know one person that you encounter on a daily basis. Learn what language makes them feel loved and start speaking it to see if your relationship with them gets just a little stronger.